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剧情简介:
Monica: Welcome to the real world. It's sucks, but you gonna love it.
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《老友记》 第一季 第1集 序集
Friends S01E01: The Pilot
? So no one told you life was gonna be this way
? 没有人告诉你活着有多累
? - Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
- ? 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘
（主演：詹妮弗·安妮斯顿）
? It's like you're always stuck in second gear
? 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累
（主演：柯特妮·考克斯）
? When it hasn't been your day,
? 日复一日 年复一年
（主演：丽莎·库卓）
? your week, your month, or even your year
? 时运不济 活着受罪
? but I'll be there for you
? 你我永不离弃
（主演：马特·勒布朗）
? When the rain starts to pour
? 纵有狂风暴雨
（主演：马修·派瑞）
? I'll be there for you
? 你我永不离弃
（主演：大卫·修蒙）
? Like I've been there before
? 支持一如往昔
? I'll be there for you
? 你我永不离弃
? 'Cause you're there for me too
? 你我相偎相依
（中央咖啡厅）
没什么好说的！他只不过是我的同事
There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.
少来了，和你交往的男人…
Come on. You're going out with a guy.
多多少少一定有点问题！
There's gotta be something wrong with him.
他既驼背又戴假发？
So does he have a hump and a hair piece?
等一下，他是不是会吃粉笔？
Wait. Does he eat chalk?
我只是不希望你 重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙
I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl. Oh.
（制片：塔德·史帝文斯）
各位放轻松，这不算约会
Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date.
不过是两个人一起出去吃晚餐 而且不上床
It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
对我来说这就是约会
Sounds like a date to me.
（编剧：玛莎·卡夫曼 大卫·肯蓝）
做了个梦，在中学时代 我站在餐厅中央…
I'm back in high school, in the middle of the cafeteria...
突然发现自己全身赤裸
...and I realize I'm totally naked.
- 对，没错 - 我做过那样的梦
- Oh, yeah. - I've had that dream.
我低头一看，看见有一个电话…
Then I look down and I realize there is a phone...
在那里
...there.
- 而不是… - 没错
- Instead of... - That's right!
- 我没做过那样的梦 - 没有
MONICA: That one, I've never had. PHOEBE: No.
突然，那个电话响了
All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
结果是我妈妈打来的
And it turns out it's my mother.
这非常奇怪 因为她从来都不会打电话给我！
Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
（导演：詹姆斯·柏洛斯）
嗨
Hi.
这家伙说〝嗨〞的时候 我却想杀了我自己
This guy says "hello," I wanna kill myself.
你还好吧，亲爱的？
Are you okay, sweetie?
我就感觉好像某人伸手进我的喉咙 抓住我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来
I feel like someone grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth...
- 再在我的脖子上打结… - 要吃饼干吗？
...and tied it around my neck. - cookie?
卡萝今天搬走了她的东西
Carol moved her stuff out today.
哦
PHOEBE & JOEY: Oh.
- 我给你拿杯咖啡 - 谢谢
- Let me get you some coffee. - Thanks.
呃
Ew. Unh.
不，不要！ 不要清理我的光环！
No. No, don't! Stop cleansing my aura.
不要管我的光环，好吗？
Just leave my aura alone, okay?
我会没事的，好吗？真的 我希望她开心
I'll be fine. All right? Really. I hope she'll be very happy.
- 不，你并不希望 - 是的，我不希望！
- No, you don't. - No, I don't.
叫她去死，是她离开了我！
To hell with her. She left me!
你从来都不知道她是女同性恋
And you never knew she was a lesbian.
不知道！行了吧！
No! Okay?
为什么每个人老是要提出来？
Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
她都不知道，我又怎么会知道？
She didn't know. How should I know?
有时候我希望我是女同性恋…
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
我讲得很大声吗？
Did I say that out loud?
没事的，罗斯 你现在感到很痛苦
All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now.
你很生气，很伤心
You're angry. You're hurting.
我能告诉你解决方法是什么吗？
Can I tell you what the answer is?
脱衣舞厅！
Strip joints!
别这样，你单身了！有需求的！
Come on, you're single. Have some hormones.
我不想单身，好吗？
See, but I don't want to be single, okay?
我只想…再次结婚！
I just wanna be married again.
而我只想要一百万美金！
And I just want a million dollars!
瑞秋！
Rachel?
噢，老天爷，摩妮卡 感谢上帝！
Oh, God, Monica! Hi! Thank God!
我刚到你那里去，而你不在 那个拿着大锤子的家伙说
I went to your building and this guy with a hammer said...
你可能在这里 你真在这里！
...that you might be here, and you are.
- 你想喝点咖啡吗？ - 无咖啡因的
- Can I get you some coffee? - Decaf.
好了，各位，这位是瑞秋 另一个林肯高中的幸存者
Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
这就是各位 这是钱德、菲比
This is everybody. This is Chandler and Phoebe...
乔伊，还有 你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗？
...and Joey. And remember my brother, Ross?
- 当然，嘿！ - 嘿
- Sure! - Hey.
- 嗨 - 天啊
- Hi. - Oh, God.
- 那你现在可以告诉我们了吗 还是说我们在等着四位湿漉的伴娘?
- So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
好吧，大概在婚礼前半个小时
Oh, God! Well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding.
我在礼物间里
I was in this room with all the presents...
看着那个肉汁壶
...and I was looking at this gravy boat.
那是个非常好看的肉汁壶
This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat.
然后，突然… 有代糖吗？
When all of a sudden... Sweet 'N Low?
我发现…
- I realized...
我对这个肉汁壶 比对巴瑞更有冲动！
...I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry.
然后我吓呆了 然后这个想法突然出现在脑中：
Then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me:
巴瑞看起来多像洋芋头先生啊
How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.
我总是觉得他眼熟，但是…
You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but...
总之 我必须离开那里，我在想：
Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering:
〝我为什么这样做，我为谁这样做？〞
"Why am I doing this?" And "Who am I doing this for?"
我不知道该去哪里 而且我知道我和你有点疏远了
Anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart...
但你是我这个城市里唯一认识的人
...but you're the only person I know in the city.
而且没有受邀参加你的婚礼
Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
噢，我希望你不会把它当一回事…
Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue.
我猜他给她买了个管风琴
I'm guessing he bought her the big pipe organ...
而她很不喜欢那个
...and she's really not happy about it.
老爸，我就是无法和他结婚
Daddy, I just... I can't marry him.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我只是不爱他了
I just don't love him.
这对我很有关系！
Well, it matters to me.
她真不应该穿那条裤子
CHANDLER: She should not be wearing those pants.
我觉得应该把她推下楼
I say push her down the stairs.
把她推下楼…
ALL: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
爸爸，听我说！
Come on, Daddy, listen to me!
这就好像在我一生中 所有人都告诉我：〝你是鞋子！〞
It's like all of my life, everyone's always told me, "You're a shoe!
〝你是鞋子…〞
You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!"
然后今天，我停下来对自己说： 〝如果我不想成为鞋子呢？
Then today I stopped and said, "What if I don't wanna be a shoe?
如果我想成为一个包包？
What if I wanna be a purse? You know?
或一顶帽子？〞
Or a hat?"
不，我不是要你给我买帽子 我是说我是帽子
I don't want you to buy me a hat, I am a hat.
这是个比喻，爸爸！
It's a metaphor, Daddy!
你看得出他哪里听不懂
You can see where he'd have trouble.
爸爸，这是我的生活
Look, Daddy, it's my life.
也许我可以和摩妮卡住在一起
Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
我猜我们已经确定 她要和摩妮卡住在一起了…
I guess we've established she's staying with Monica.
也许那是我的决定
Well, maybe that's my decision.
也许我不需要你的钱
Well, maybe I don't need your money.
等等！我说也许！
Wait! Wait! I said maybe!
呼吸，呼吸 好，就这样
Okay. Just breathe, that's it.
试着想一些让你镇定的事…
Just try to think of nice, calm things.
玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须
Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens
门铃和雪橇铃，还有手套…
Doorbells and sleigh bells And something with mittens
啦啦啦，还有一些条状物…
La la la something With string
我现在好多了
I'm all better now.
我帮上忙啦
I helped.
瞧，这也许对你来讲是最好的 知道吗？
MONICA: Look, this is probably for the best, you know?
独立了，把握自己的生活
Independence. Taking control of your life.
还有，你还需要什么 你可以随时来找乔伊
And, hey, if you need anything, you can always come to Joey.
我和钱德就住在对面 而且他经常不在
Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And he's away a lot.
乔伊，不要再对她放电了 今天是她结婚的日子！
Joey, stop hitting on her. It's her wedding day.
怎么啦，难道这还有什么规定吗？
What? Like there's a rule or something?
请不要再按了 那是很恐怖的声音
Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.
- 我是保罗 - 让他进来！
PAUL: Uh, it's Paul. - Buzz him in.
- 谁是保罗？ - 保罗，红酒达人，保罗？
- Who's Paul? - Paul, the wine guy, Paul?
也许
Maybe.
等等，你今晚的〝不是真正约会〞 是和红酒达人保罗？
Wait a minute. Your "not a real date" is with Paul, the wine guy?
- 他终于约你出去啦？ - 是的！
- He finally asked you out? - Yes.
真是个可以写入日记的时刻
Ooh. This is a "Dear Diary" moment.
瑞秋，等等，我可以取消…
Rach, wait, I can cancel.
不用 你去吧，我不会有事的！
Please, no. Go, I'll be fine.
罗斯，你没事吧？ 你希望我留下来吗？
Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
能留下就太好了…
That'd be good.
- 真的？ - 不，去吧！那可是红酒达人保罗耶！
- Really? - No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy.
进来，保罗，这是…
MONICA: Hi, come in. Paul, this is...
大家 各位，这是保罗
...everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
保罗！红酒达人！
JOEY: Paul, the wine guy.
- 红酒达人！ - 我没听清楚你的名字，是保罗吗？
- Wine guy. - I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
- 请坐，两秒钟就好 - 好
- Okay. Sit down. Two seconds. - Okay.
我刚拔掉四根睫毛不是个好兆头
Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
那么瑞秋，你今晚…打算做什么？
So, Rachel, what are you up to tonight?
我本来应该到阿鲁巴度蜜月
Well, I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon...
所以，没事做！
...so, nothing.
对呀，你连蜜月都无法去
Right. You're not even getting your honeymoon.
不过，阿鲁巴，这个时候？
God. No, no. Although, Aruba. Heh. This time of year? Eh.
你可以谈论一下…
Talk about your...
大蜥蜴
...big lizards.
总之 如果今晚你不想自己一个人的话
Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight...
乔伊和钱德要过来 帮我组装我的新家具
...Joey and Chandler are helping me with my furniture.
对，而且我们为此感到兴奋
Yes, and we're very excited about it.
谢谢了，不过我想今晚 还是留在这里吧
Actually, thanks, but I'm just gonna hang out here tonight.
- 今天真是漫长的一天 - 是呀，好吧
- It's been a long day. - Oh, sure. Okay. Sure.
菲比，你要来帮忙吗？
Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?
噢，我希望我能，但是我不想
Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
我应该把支架固定在侧面
I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things...
用螺纹蜗轮
...using a bunch of these little worm guys.
我没有支架，没有看到螺纹蜗轮
I have no bracket-y thing, I see no worm guys whatsoever...
而且我的腿麻了
...and I cannot feel my legs.
这是什么？
What's this?
我不知道
I have no idea.
- 搞定书架了！ - 完工了！
- Done with the bookcase. - All finished.
这是卡萝最喜欢的啤酒
This was Carol's favorite beer.
她总是直接从罐子喝，我该知道的
She always drank it out of the can. I should have known.
罗斯，我来问你一个问题
Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question.
她得到家具、音响、超赞的电视…
She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV.
那你得到了什么？
What did you get?
你们啊
You guys.
- 天呀 - 你被耍了
- Oh, God. Oh, my God. - You got screwed.
- 我的老天！ - 我知道，我真是个笨蛋
- Oh, my God. - I know, I know. I'm such an idiot.
当她一个礼拜见四、五次牙医 我就该知道了
I should've caught on when she went to the dentist four and five times a week.
谁的牙齿需要这么干净？
I mean, how clean can teeth get?
我哥哥正在克服这种事呢 他真是一团糟
My brother's going through that. He's such a mess.
你是怎么克服的？
How did you get through it?
他可以试着砸烂她的一些贵重的东西
He might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers.
- 比如她的… - 腿？
- Say her... - Leg?
那样也可以！
Heh. That's one way of going through it, yeah.
我则是砸了她的手表
Me, I went for the watch.
你真的砸了她的手表？
- You actually broke her watch? - Mm.
巴瑞，对不起，对不起
Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
我知道你可能认为和那天我对你说 跟你穿袜子做爱有关，但不是的
You probably think it's about making love with your socks on, but it isn't.
这和我有关，我只是…
It isn't, it's about me. And I...
嘿，机器又把电话挂断了 不管怎样…
Hi. Machine cut me off again. Anyway...
知道什么最吓人的吗？ 如果每个人只有一个女人适合他呢？
You know what's scary? What if there's only one woman for everybody?
我是说 如果你得到一个女人，就这样
I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it?
不幸的是，以我的例子来讲 是她…得到一个女人
Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her.
你在说什么？ 〝一个女人〞？
What are you talking about? One woman.
那就好像你只吃一种口味的冰淇淋
That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.
让我告诉你，罗斯 还有很多种口味
Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there.
有碎糖口味、饼干口味 然后还有香草口味
There's rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla.
还可以加糖条、果仁 或者鲜奶油一起吃！
You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream.
这是你一生中最棒的时刻了！
This is the best thing that ever happened to you.
你难道是八岁结婚的？
You got married. You were like, what, 8?
欢迎回到现实里！拿起汤匙！
Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.
我真不知道我是饿了 还是饥渴
I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
离我的冰箱远点！
Then stay out of my freezer.
从她离开我之后，我…
Ever since she walked out on me, I...
怎么啦？
What? What?
你想边吃面条边讲出来？
You wanna spell it out with noodles?
不，这本该在和你 第五次约会时才能说出来的
No, it's more of a fifth date kind of revelation.
噢，所以会有第五次约会罗？
Oh, so there's gonna be a fifth date?
会有吗？
Isn't there?
我觉得会有
Yeah, yeah. I think there is.
你要说什么？
What were you gonna say?
好吧
Well... Er, uh...
自从她离开我之后…
Ever since she left me, um...
我就一直…
...I haven't been able to perform...
无法行房
...sexually.
天啊，对不起
Oh, God! Oh, God! I am so...
- 对不起… - 没关系
- I'm so sorry. - It's okay.
被人吐水应该不是你现在需要的
Being spit on is probably not what you need right now.
唔…
Um...
多久了？
How long?
两年
Two years.
哇！
Wow!
我真高兴你砸了她的手表！
I'm glad you smashed her watch.
那你还希望有第五次约会吗？
So you still think you might want that fifth date?
是的
Yeah.
是的，我希望
Yeah, I do.
我乔安妮接受查理斯为我的合法丈夫
I, Joanie, take you, Charles, as my lawful husband.
- 你是否接受乔安妮… - 看吧
MINISTER: Do you take Joanie...? - Oh! See.
可是乔安妮爱佳奇！就是这里不同！
But Joanie loved Chachi. That's the difference.
〝拿起汤匙〞
"Grab a spoon."
你知道我多久没拿汤匙了吗？
Do you know long it's been since I grabbed a spoon?
〝比利，别逞英雄〞 这句话对你有没有意义？
Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero," mean anything to you?
是这样的，就算我想…
You know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough...
约一个女人出来
...to ask a woman out...
我该约谁？
...who am I gonna ask?
是不是很不可思议？
Isn't this amazing?
我以前从来没泡过咖啡
I mean, I have never made coffee before in my life.
- 是很不可思议 - 恭喜你
- That is amazing. - Congratulations.
你现在刚好有心情 有没有想做个蛋饼之类的东西…
While you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make a Western omelet or something...
不过我还不太饿…
Although, actually I'm really not that hungry this morning.
- 早安 - 早安
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- 早安 - 早安
- Morning. - Morning.
- 早安 - 早安，保罗
- Morning. - Morning, Paul.
- 你好，保罗 - 嘿，是保罗，对吗？
- Hello, Paul. - Hi. Paul, is it?
我昨晚很开心
MONICA: I had a really great time last night.
- 谢谢你!太感谢你了!
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
- 再聊 - 好的
- We'll talk later, okay? - Yeah.
谢谢
Thank you.
那不是真正的约会！
That wasn't a real date.
那你真正的约会都在干什么？
What the hell do you do on a real date?
- 闭嘴，把我的桌子搬回去 - 好的！
- Shut up and put my table back. - Okay.
好啦，孩子们，我要去工作啦
All right, kids, I gotta get to work.
不过如果我不把那些数字输入 也不会有什么差别
If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference.
你们都有工作吗？
So, like, you guys all have jobs?
对，我们都有
Yeah, we all have jobs.
这样我们才有钱买东西
See, that's how we buy stuff.
对，我是演员
Yeah, I'm an actor.
哇，我有见过你的作品吗？
Wow. Would I have seen you in anything?
哦，应该没有，大部分是地方性节目
Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
等等，除非你看过 翻拍的《木偶奇遇记》
Unless you happened to catch the Wee One's production of Pinocchio.
〝瞧，老木匠，我是个真正的小男孩〞
"Look, Geppeto. I'm a real live boy."
别这样羞辱我
I will not take this abuse.
没错，对不起
You're right. I'm sorry.
我曾经是个小木偶…
once I was a wooden boy A little wooden boy
你今天怎么样？睡得好吗？
MONICA: So how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay?
和巴瑞谈过吗?我无法停止微笑
Did you talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
看得出来，就好像你睡觉时 有个衣架在你嘴里
I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
我知道，他只是太…
I know. He's just so...
你还记得你和托尼多马哥吗？
Remember you and Tony De Marco?
- 是的，记得 - 就好像那样，但有感觉
- Oh, yeah. - Well, it's like that. With feelings.
哇，你有麻烦了
Oh, wow, are you in trouble!
好，我要醒过来，去工作
Okay, okay. I am just going to get up, go to work...
而且不要整天想着他
...and not think about him all day.
或者只是站起来去工作
Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.
- 喔，祝我好运！ - 为什么？
- Oh, wish me luck! - What for?
我要去找工作之类的事
I'm gonna go get one of those job things.
嘿，摩妮卡！ 嘿，弗兰妮，欢迎回来！
- Hey, Monica. - Hey, Franny. Welcome back.
佛罗里达怎么样？
How was Florida?
你跟人上床了，对吧？
You had sex, didn't you?
你怎么知道的
How do you do that?
- 那么，是和谁？ - 你认识保罗吗？
- So, who? - You know Paul?
保罗，红酒达人？
Paul, the wine guy?
是的，我认识保罗
Oh, yeah, I know Paul.
你认识他就好像我认识他一样？
You mean, you know Paul like I know Paul?
你开玩笑吧？保罗还欠我人情呢
Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul.
在我之前，他两年都无法行房
Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
那当然是谎言！
Of course it was a line.
为什么？为什么有人会做这样的事情？
Why? Why would anybody do something like that?
我想更精确的答案是
We're looking for an answer more sophisticated than:
〝为了和你上床〞
"To get you into bed."
是因为我吗？
Is it me?
是因为我会散发某种信号吗？
Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs...
只有狗和有感情问题的男人 才会成应到？
...and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
好啦，过来这里，把你的脚给我
All right, come here. Give me your feet.
我只是以为他是个好人
I just thought he was nice, you know?
我真不敢相信 你不知道那是谎言！
I can't believe you didn't know it was a line.
猜猜怎么样？
Guess what.
- 你找到工作啦？ - 开玩笑吗？
- You got a job? - Are you kidding?
我一点经验都没有！
I'm trained for nothing.
我今天被十二个面试员嘲笑
I was laughed out of 12 interviews today.
而且你还这么高兴
Yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
你也会高兴的 如果你发现名牌皮靴特价…
Well, you would be too if you found Joan and David boots on sale...
打五折！
...50 percent off.
是呀，你真了解我…
Oh, how well you know me.
这双是 〝我不需要工作，我不需要父母
They're my new "I don't need a job or my parents.
我买了新皮靴〞的皮靴！
I've got great boots" boots.
- 你用什么付帐的？ - 信用卡
- How'd you pay for them? - Uh, credit card.
那谁付帐单呢？
And who pays for that?
我爸爸
Um, my father.
你不能靠你爸爸过一辈子
You can't live off your parents your whole life.
我知道，这就是为什么我要结婚
I know that. That's why I was getting married.
别逼她，第一次独立生活是很困难的
Give her a break. It's hard being on your own for the first time.
- 谢谢你 - 别客气
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
记得我第一次来这个城市 我才十四岁
I remember when I first came to this city, I was 14.
我妈妈刚自杀 我的继父又进了监狱
My mom had killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison.
然后在这里我不认识任何人
And I got here, and I didn't know anybody.
然后我和一个在港务局 给人擦车窗的…
I ended up living with this albino guy who was cleaning windshields...
白化病人住在一起 最后他也自杀了
...outside Port Authority. And then he killed himself.
然后我找到按摩这份工作 所以相信我，我完全了解你的感受
And then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
你想说的话是：
The word you're looking for is:
〝总之…〞
"Anyway..."
好了，准备好了吗？
All right. You ready?
- 还没有 - 来吧
- I don't think so. - Oh, come on.
剪掉，剪掉
Cut. Cut.
剪掉，剪掉，剪掉
ALL: Cut, cut, cut.
- 嘿 - 好耶
ROSS: Hey. MONICA: All right.
欢迎来到真实世界！
Welcome to the real world.
它很糟糕，但是你会喜欢的！
It sucks. You're gonna love it.
好啦，够啦 你要在沙发上睡？
Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch?
- 不，我总要回家啊 - 你还好吗？
- No. No, I gotta go home sometime. - Are you gonna be okay?
是的
Yeah.
看我刚才在地板上发现什么
Look what I just found on the floor.
什么？
What?
那是保罗的手表
That's Paul's watch.
你就把它放回原处吧
You can just put it back where you found it.
好吧，晚安，各位
Oh, boy. All right. Good night, everybody.
晚安
ROSS & RACHEL: Good night.
- 唔 - 唔
- Hmm. - Hmm.
- 喔，抱歉 - 不，你来
- Oh, sorry. - No. Oh, no. Go.
- 不，你吃吧 - 平分？
- No, have it, really. - Split it?
- 好吧 - 好吧
- Okay. - Okay.
谢谢
Thanks.
你可能不知道，在高中…
You probably didn't know this, but back in high school I had...
我曾暗恋过你
...a major crush on you.
我知道
I knew.
你知道？
You did? Oh.
我还以为你一直认为 我是摩妮卡的书呆子哥哥呢
I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
我是这么认为的
- I did. - Oh.
听着，你是不是认为…
Listen, do you think...
你不要太在意我的脆弱 这已经成为习惯
And try not to let my vulnerability become any kind of a factor here.
但是你认为我可以约你出去吗？
Do you think it would be okay if I ask you out sometime, maybe?
可以啊
Yeah.
也许
Maybe.
好
Okay.
好吧，我可能会约你…
Okay, maybe I will.
- 晚安 - 晚安
- Good night. - Good night.
再见
See you.
嗯哼
ROSS: Mm-hm.
等等，你怎么啦？
Wait, wait. Hey, what's with you?
我刚刚拿起汤匙
I just grabbed a spoon.
我真不敢相信我听到的
Can't believe what I'm hearing.
我真不敢相信我听到的
I can't believe What I'm hearing here
- 怎么啦，我说你有个 - 我说你有个…
- What? I said you had... - What? I said you had...
- 有完没完 - 我的老毛病又犯了？
- Would you stop? - Oh, was I doing it again?
没错
ALL: Yes.
有人要咖啡吗？
WOMAN: Would anybody like more coffee?
你泡的，还是你只是端过来？
Did you make it or are you just serving it?
- 只是端过来 - 好吧，我要杯咖啡
- I'm just serving it. - I'll have a cup of coffee.
孩子们，新的梦…
Kids, new dream.
我在拉斯维加斯 我是丽莎·明妮莉…
I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli.
了，那没什么大不了的
Would you let it go? It's not a big deal.
没什么？简直是太神奇了
ROSS: Not a big deal? It's amazing.
只要把手伸进去弄一弄
You just reach in, there's one little maneuver, and bam!
一件胸罩 就直接从袖子里出来
A bra. Right out the sleeve.
据我所知，这种事
As far as I'm concerned...
男人根本就做不来，对吧？
...there is nothing a guy can do that comes close. Right?
拜托！你们男人可以站着小便
Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
我们可以吗？ 好，我会试试
We can? Okay, I'm trying that.
知道我想到什么了吗？
You know what blows my mind?
女人随时可以看到胸部
Women can see breasts anytime they want.
只要往下一看 就在那里
You just look down, and there they are.
真不懂你们哪有办法 专心做事
How you get any work done is beyond me.
我知道了…我不懂男人怎能 做出许多残忍的事情…
What I don't get is the way guys can do so many mean things...
却完全不在乎
...and then not even care.
多重性高潮！
Multiple orgasms!
《老友记》 第一季 第5集 东德进口的洗衣粉
Friends S01E05: The One with the East German Laundry Detergent
（主演：詹妮弗·安妮斯顿）
（主演：柯特妮·考克斯）
（主演：丽莎·库卓）
（主演：马特·勒布朗）
（主演：马修·派瑞）
（主演：大卫·修蒙）
（中央咖啡厅）
周六夜 大日子！
So Saturday night, the big night.
约会的日子！ 周六夜，周六夜！
Date night! Saturday night. Saturday night!
- 你没节目，对吧？ - 一个也没有！
- No plans, huh? - Not a one.
连跟珍妮丝分手的计划也没有？
Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
（制片：塔德·史帝文斯）
对，对，闭嘴
Oh, right, right. Shut up.
钱德，没人喜欢跟别人分手
Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone.
（编剧：杰夫·葛林斯坦 杰夫·史特劳斯）
- 只是你非做不可 - 我知道，不过真的很难
- You just gotta do it. - I know. But it's just so hard.
（导演：帕蜜拉·佛莱曼）
你就跟她坐在一起 她浑然不觉
You're sitting with her. She has no idea what's happening.
终于你鼓起勇气 开始行动
You finally get up the courage to do it.
当你把纸条传给她时 气氛很僵
There's that awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
你干嘛非得跟她分手不可？
Why do you have to break up with her?
像个男人，不要再打电话就好了
Be a man. Just stop calling.
如果你需要的话 我可以跟你一起做
If you want, I'll do it with you.
谢谢，不过她会觉得 我们在联合起来对付她
Thanks, but she'd feel like we were ganging up on her.
不，我是说是你甩珍妮丝 我甩东尼
I mean you break up with Janice. I'll break up with Tony.
你要跟东尼分手？
You're breaking up with Tony?
他很甜，不过已经不好玩了
I know. He's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore.
我不晓得原因在于我 或在于他的绝食
I don't know if it's me or his hunger strike. I don't know.
你们还要点些什么吗？
Does anybody want anything else?
对了，你们上礼拜有一种有很好吃的 核桃巧克力的蛋糕或派的一种…
Yeah. Last week you had a wonderful nutty, chocolate-y, kind of cake-y pie thing that...
不用了，我不饿
Nothing. I'm fine.
（《自行车》）
怎么了？ 干嘛苦瓜脸？
What's the matter? Why so scrunchie?
我爸要给我一辆宾士敞篷
It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
那家伙，真是令我火大
That guy, he burns me up.
对，是宾士 只要我搬回家去
Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home.
真讨厌！ 他还叫我〝小姑娘〞
It was horrible! He called me "young lady."
我爸爸那样叫我时 我也很气
Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
他是否又念些 〝你不可能办到〞之类的？
Did he give you that whole "You're not up to this" thing again?
我听到的是加长版 有一句不断重复的副歌是…
Yeah, I got the extended disco version with three choruses of:
〝靠你自己是不可能成功的〞
"You'll never make it on your own."
哦 噢
Uh-huh, uh-huh
嘿，乔伊
Hi, Joey.
哦，我的天！安琪拉！
Oh, my God. Angela.
哇！被你甩掉 对她显然是好事
Wow. Being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.
- 你要过去吗？ - 不
- Are you gonna go over there? - No.
好，不
Yeah. No.
可以，不过时候未到 我不想显得太饥渴
Okay, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager.
一下下、两下下…
One Mississippi, two Mississippi...
三下下 这样似乎就很酷了
...three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool.
嘿，安琪拉
Hey, Angela.
乔伊
Joey.
你看起来很性感
You look good.
那是因为我穿着一件 特别强调胸部的衣服
Because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.
可不是吗
You don't say.
那，瑞秋，你晚上有何计划？
So, Rachel, what are you doing tonight?
晚上可精彩了 我跟摩妮卡要去自助洗衣店
Big glamour night. Me and Monica at Launderama.
噢
Oh.
你想听一件诡异的巧合吗？
You wanna hear a freakish coincidence?
猜猜还有谁也会去？
Guess who's doing laundry there too?
- 谁 - 我
- Who? - Me.
这样还不够清楚吗？
Was that not clear?
何不…？
Hey, why don't...?
我何不加入你们两个人的行列？
Why don't I just join you both there?
你住的大楼 不就有一间洗衣室？
Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
对
Yes.
我那里有一间洗衣室
I do have a laundry room in my building.
不过，那里有老鼠出没
Um... But there's a rat problem.
他们显然对烘干机的芳香片 很有兴趣
Apparently, they're attracted to the dryer sheets.
他们进去的时候都还好好的 出来的时候就…
They're going in fine, but they're coming out all...
蓬蓬的了
...fluffy.
总之，七点左右好吗？
Anyway, 7-ish?
当然
Sure.
少来，我现在跟鲍柏在一起了
Forget it, Joey. I'm with Bob now.
鲍柏？鲍柏是谁？
Bob? Who the hell's Bob?
鲍柏很棒
Bob is great.
他很聪明、见过世面 而且有正当工作
He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job.
你一个月试镜三次 就说自己是演员，鲍柏则…
You go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor. But Bob...
拜托！我们在一起时很快乐
Come on. We were great together.
不只是享乐的时候 比如说，谈话的时候也不错
And not just at the fun stuff, but, like, talking too.
抱歉，你说过〝我们就当朋友〞
Sorry, Joey. You said, "Let's just be friends."
你猜结果呢？
So guess what?
- 怎样？ - 我们就只是朋友
- What? - We're just friends.
好吧，好吧
Fine. Fine.
今天我们四个人 何不一块吃饭？就朋友嘛
So why don't the four of us go out and have dinner tonight? You know, as friends.
哪四个〝我们〞？
What "four of us"?
你跟鲍柏 我跟我的女朋友…
You and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, um...
摩妮卡
...Monica.
摩妮卡，我告诉你 这家伙很适合你
JOEY: Monica, I'm telling you, this guy is perfect for you.
甭想！自从你那个打嗝天王亲戚后 我就不再相信你了
Forget it! Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
拜托，这家伙很棒 他叫鲍柏，他是安琪拉的…
Come on, this guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's...
兄弟
...ahem, brother.
他很聪明又见过世面…
He's smart, he's sophisticated...
而且他有正当工作
...and he has a real job.
我一个月试镜三次 就说我是个演员，不过他是…
Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
- 老天爷啊 - 干嘛？
- Oh, God, help us. - What?
丑陋裸男在铺厨房地砖
Ugly Naked Guy is laying kitchen tile.
呕
BOTH: Ew!
我是在请你帮忙
Look, I'm asking a favor here.
只要我帮她兄弟这个忙
I'm thinking if I do this for her brother...
安琪拉也许就会回到我身边
...maybe Angela will come back to me.
你干嘛？ 你的女朋友加起来有几卡车
What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.
我知道，不过…
I know, but...
我犯了一个大错 我不该跟她分手的
Look, I made a huge mistake. I never should've broke up with her.
你帮帮我好吗？拜托？
Will you help me? Please?
好，再见
Okay. Bye.
摩妮卡不去了 只剩下我跟瑞秋
Monica's not coming. It's just gonna be me and Rachel.
等等，你这黄鼠狼 你仔细思考过了吗？
Hold on there, camper. You sure you've thought this through?
只是去洗衣服 不太需要用到大脑吧
It's laundry. The thinking through is pretty minimal.
只有你跟瑞秋？ 只有你们两个？
It's just you and Rachel? Just the two of you?
这是约会 你们要去约会了
This is a date. You're going on a date.
恩-啊
Nuh-uh.
呀-哈
Yeah-huh.
你觉得呢？
What are you saying?
- 我该再刮一下胡子 或拿瓶酒过去吗?
- I should shave again? Pick up some wine? What?
嗯，你也许需要 再考虑一下你的脏内裤
Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear.
这将是她首次目睹你的内裤 你希望是脏脏的吗？
It's the first time she'll see your underwear. You want it to be dirty?
不希望
No.
还有柔衣精呢？
And the fabric softener?
好，我的柔衣精又碍到谁了？
Okay, okay. Now, what is wrong with my Snuggles?
怎样？这代表我是一个 感性、温暖的男人
What? It says I'm a sensitive, warm kind of guy.
知道吗？就像一只毛绒绒的小熊
You know, like a little fuzzy bear.
我在路上再买别的好了
I can pick something else up on the way.
（餐厅）
谢谢
MONICA: Thank you.
这个鲍柏长什么样子？ 他是高还是矮？
So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall, short?
对
Yep.
到底怎样？
Which?
什么怎样？
Which what?
你也没见过鲍柏，对吧？
You've never met Bob, have you?
没有，不过…
No, but...
老天，这家伙搞不好长得很…
For all we know, he could be horribly...
嘿，乔伊！
Hey, Joey
很迷人 我不再多说了
Horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.
他们人呢？人呢？
Where are they? Where are they?
太棒了，我们从来没有 单独做过什么事，就我们两个
This is nice. We never do anything, just the two of us.
太好了，也许我们明天 可以租辆车去撞一些小狗
That's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car, run over some puppies.
我才不要
Ew. I don't wanna do that.
- 开始了 - 祝分手顺利
- Here we go. - Have a good breakup.
- 嘿，珍妮丝 - 我的天，我很高兴你打电话给我
- Hey, Janice. - My God, I am so glad you called me.
我今天真是衰到家了
I had the most supremely awful day.
那可不妙
That's not good.
请送意式浓缩咖啡跟拿铁过来 好吗？
Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?
我们拿到那些蔬菜照片的样本了
We got the proofs from that photo shoot with the vegetables.
拍得很糟
They sucked.
我干脆下午翘班去血拼
I blew off the rest of the afternoon. I went shopping.
我给你买…
And I got you...
我在找，我在找
JANICE: I'm looking. I'm looking.
我在找
I'm looking.
- 我给你买… - 什么？
- I got you... - What?
- 什么？ - 你给我买了什么了？
- What? - What did you get me there?
我给你…
I got you...
买了这个
...these.
《鹿兄鼠弟》的鹿兄袜
Bullwinkle socks.
- 真好 - 我知道你已经有鼠弟的了
- That's so sweet. - I knew you had the Rockys.
你可以穿鹿兄配鹿兄
So you could wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle...
或鼠弟配鼠弟，或混着穿
...or wear Rocky and Rocky, or you can mix and match.
糜鹿跟飞天鼠
Moose and squirrel.
随你搭配
Whatever you want.
我还要一杯义式浓缩咖啡 你还要拿铁吗？
I'm gonna get another espresso. More latte?
不用了
No.
不，我还在努力的喝这一杯
No, I'm still working on mine.
就这样？
That's it?
真的很困难 对
Yeah, it was really hard.
那个拥抱感觉很残酷 对
Yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal.
你又不在场
Okay, you weren't there.
（自助洗衣店 自助或代洗）
别挡路，让开，让开！
WOMAN: Coming through! Move! Move!
不好意思！我在用这部机器
Excuse me! I was kind of using that machine.
对，嗯，现在你好像没在用了
Yeah, well, now you're kind of not.
不过我已经有保留 我把篮子放在上面了
But I saved it. I put my basket on top.
- 真对不起，这是你的篮子？ - 对
- I'm sorry. Is that your basket? - Yes.
很漂亮 可惜的是，我没看到洗衣粉！
It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds!
什么？
What?
没有洗衣粉就不能保留，好吗？
No suds, no save, okay?
- 什么事？ - 嗨
- What's going on? - Hi.
没什么，那个讨厌的女人 抢了我的洗衣机
Nothing. This horrible woman just took my machine.
你的篮子有放在上面吗？
Was your basket on top?
- 有，不过没放洗衣粉 - 那又怎样？
- Yeah, but there were no suds. - So?
就是…没洗衣粉就不算保留
You know, no suds, no save.
没洗衣粉就不…不好意思
No suds, no... Excuse me.
等一下！
Hold on a second!
这是我朋友的洗衣机
This is my friend's machine.
嘿，嘿，嘿! 她的东西没放在里面
Hey, hey, hey! Her stuff wasn't in it!
嘿，嘿，嘿! 你明知规矩不是那样的！
Hey, hey, hey! That's not the rule, and you know it!
好，戏演完了
All right. Show's over.
没什么好看的了
Nothing to see here.
好，我们开始洗衣服了
Okay. Let's do laundry.
太厉害了！ 我连不是我点的汤都不敢退还
That was amazing! I can't even send back soup.
那是因为你是如此甜美、温柔…
Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle...
你有…？
Do you, uh?
哦，嘿，你一定需要洗衣粉
Oh, hey. You must need detergent.
- 那是什么？ - 超白牌洗衣粉
- What's that? - überweiss.
是新的，德国货 超强力！
It's new. It's German. It's extra tough!
瑞秋，你这些要分开吗？
Rach, do you...? Are you gonna separate those?
哦，天
Oh, God. Ugh.
我很洗衣白痴，对不对？
Am I being like a total laundry spaz?
我是否该把上衣跟裤子 分别放入不同的洗衣机？
Am I supposed to use one machine for shirts and another for pants?
你从来没洗过衣服吗？
Have you...? Have you never done this before?
哦，我是没有啦 可是我认识一些洗过衣服的人
Well, not myself. But I know other people that have.
好，被你逮到了 我是个洗衣处女
Okay. You caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
不要害怕 我会慢慢来
Don't worry. I'll use the gentle cycle.
好吧
Okay...
基本上，你得把所有白色的 放在一部机器里
Basically, you wanna use one machine for all your whites.
白色的，好
Whites. Okay.
- 有颜色的放入另一部 - 有颜色的
- A whole other machine for your colors. - Colors.
还要第三部洗你的…
And then a third for your, uh...
贴身衣物 也就是你的胸罩…
...delicates. And that would be your bras...
你的小内裤之类的
...and your underpanty things.
这些是白色的棉质内裤
Okay, well, these are white cotton panties.
是要跟白色的衣物放一起 还是跟贴身衣物呢？
Would they go with whites or with delicates?
这得靠你自由心证了
That would be a judgment call.
他好可爱！
He's so cute!
你们在哪里长大的？
So where did you guys grow up?
- 布鲁克林高地 - 克里夫兰
- Brooklyn Heights. - Cleveland.
哈 呵呵呵
Ha. Heh, heh, heh.
- 怎么会这样？ - 我的天！
- How did that happen? - Oh, my God!
怎么了？
What?
我突然有一种…
I suddenly had the feeling I was...
往下掉的感觉
...falling.
现在没有了
But I'm not.
你跟安琪拉在一起，是吧？
So you and Angela, huh?
没错，就是这样
Yep. Pretty much.
- 你是个幸运的男人 - 是啊
- You're a lucky man. - Yeah.
知道我最想念她哪里吗？
You know what I miss the most about her?
她吃东西时发出的 可爱的小噪音
That cute nibbley noise she makes when she eats.
就像一只快乐的小松鼠…
Like a happy little squirrel...
或是黄鼠狼
...or a weasel.
我没注意到
I never really noticed.
哦，有 有，你要注意听
Oh, yeah, yeah. Listen for it.
摩妮卡 摩妮卡很正
Monica. Monica is great.
对，她是啊
Yeah. Yeah, she is.
不过，不会长久
But it's not gonna last.
对我而言 她在床上需求太多了
She's too much for me in bed.
嘿咻方面
Sexually.
我得告诉你 鲍柏超棒的
I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.
对，说的可不是？
Yeah, isn't he?
能遇到一个聪明、有趣
It's so great to meet a guy who's smart and funny...
成熟度超过八岁的男人真好
...and has an emotional age beyond 8.
还有你知道吗？ 他在床上的表现让人难以置信！
You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed!
哇
Wow!
我哥连他几岁失去童贞 都没告诉过我
My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.
呵
Huh.
那很好啊
That's nice.
（中央咖啡厅）
你可以的 就像扯下OK绷一样
You can do this. It's like pulling off a Band-Aid.
动作快点 伤口就会露出来了
Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
快！快去！
Go! Go!
珍妮丝
Janice...
嗨，珍妮丝
Hi, Janice.
好，开始了 我想我们不该再交往下去了
Okay, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore.
珍妮丝
Janice.
好的
All right.
好吧
Well...
好，你说了
Well, there you go.
停，停，停
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
我知道说来有点蠢…
RACHEL: Okay, I know this is gonna sound really stupid...
不过我觉得 如果我今天能成功…
...but I feel that if I can do this...
如果我真的能洗我自己的衣服…
...if I can actually do my own laundry...
这世上就没有我办不到的事了
...there isn't anything I can't do.
我倒觉得 这句话一点也不蠢
That does not sound stupid to me.
卡萝离开我后 我第一次自己煮东西时…
No, it's like... The first time I had to make dinner for myself after Carol left me...
对不起，我们的时间到了 下一次《罗斯秀》…
I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...
好
Okay.
- 啊哦 - 干嘛？
- Uh-oh. - What, "uh-oh"?
啊哦…
Uh-oh...
啊哦，衣服洗好了
Uh-oh, the laundry's done.
这是一首歌
It's a song.
我们在洗衣服时唱的
The laundry song that we sing.
啊哦！衣服洗好了
Uh-oh, the laundry's done
怎么了嘛？
What's the matter?
没什么
Nothing. Nothing.
衣服洗好了
The laundry's done
得了，让我看
Come on, show me.
只是你的白衣服里有一只红袜子 所以就…
It's just that you left a red sock in with your whites, and now...
统统变成有点粉红的
...everything's kind of pink. - Oh.
统统变成粉红的？
Everything's pink?
只有那只红袜子例外 还是红的
Except for the red sock, which is still red.
别难过 这种事大家都会遇到的
Don't be upset. It can happen to anyone.
可是这次发生在我身上
But it didn't. It happened to me.
天哪，我会变成 - 只粉红凯蒂猫！
God, I'm gonna look like a big Marshmallow Peep!
我在干什么？
What am I doing? What am I doing?
我爸爸说的对！ 我无法独立
My father's right! I can't live on my own.
我连洗衣服都不会！
I can't even do laundry!
那个超狗气球出状况了
Something went wrong with Underdog...
他们又没办法帮狗头充气
...and they couldn't get his head to inflate.
总之…
So anyway...
狗头就在百老汇上 直直滚下去，对吧？
...his head is, like, flopping down Broadway.
我就在想
And I'm thinking...
这真的是不对劲
...how inappropriate this is.
我的眼里有东西 乔伊，我们到灯光下看看好吗？
I've got something's in my eye. Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
- 哦，我的天！ - 干嘛？
- Oh, my God! - What?
我们坐在同一桌吗？ 简直说是…
Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like...
近亲乱伦
...cocktails in Appalachia.
- 他们很亲密 - 亲密？她的舌头都跑到他耳朵里了
- Come on, they're close. - Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.
你跟罗斯就没胡闹过
Like you've never got a little rambunctious with Ross.
乔伊，这很病态 很恶心、很…
Joey, this is sick. It's disgusting. It's...
这不是真的，对不对？
...not really true, is it?
谁晓得什么才是真的？
Who's to say what's true?
你在想什么？
What were you thinking?
这没什么好得意的，好吗？
Look, I'm not proud of this, okay?
嗯，也许是有一点啦
Well, maybe I am a little.
噢 噢
- Oh. - Ow!
- 我要走了！ - 等一下！
- I'm out of here! - Wait! Come on!
你喜欢他，我要她
You like him. I want her.
他喜欢你
He likes you.
- 真的？ - 对
- Really? - Yeah.
如果我们团结起来 就凭我们二人…
I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us...
一定可以拆散他们
...we can break them up.
对不起 真不敢相信我会出这种差错
MONICA: I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did this.
你那个作家诺曼梅勒的故事 让我笑到不行
I just couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story.
服务生？我们还要一盘鸡翅
Waiter? One more plate of chicken wings over here.
就像这样 我们根本不一样
Here's the thing. It's like we're different.
我是那种乒乒乒的人 你则是砰砰砰
I'm the bing, you're the boom...
哦 噢
JANICE: Ow! - Oh!
- 哦，我的天！ - 噢
- Oh, my God! - Ow!
- 我很抱歉！ - 噢
- I'm so sorry! - Ow!
你还好吗？
- Are you okay? - Ow!
只是我的隐形眼镜 我的镜片跑了
It's just my lens. It's my lens.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
我打中她的眼睛！ 打中她的眼睛！
I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye!
这是史上最差劲的分手！
This is the worst breakup in the history of the world!
哦，我的天！
Oh, my God.
你到底喝了几杯？
How many of those have you had?
我不晓得，一百万杯吧！
I don't know. A million!
钱德，放轻松，放轻松 想想你快乐的时光
Chandler, shh, shh. Easy, easy. Go to your happy place.
啦-啦-啦-啦-啦-啦-啦
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
- 我很好，我很好 - 好吧
- I'm fine, I'm fine. - All right.
我不好，她来了
I'm not fine. Here she comes.
在这里等好吗？呼吸
Wait here, okay? Breathe.
你怎么办到的？
How do you do that?
就像一种天赋
It's like a gift.
以后我们一定要一起分手
We should always, always break up together.
我喜欢！
I'd like that.
衣服干净了 这才是最重要的
ROSS: You got the clothes clean. That's the important part.
我想也是 可惜现在全部看起来都像睡衣
I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
对不起
Whoa, I'm sorry.
抱歉，这推车是我们的
Excuse me. We had this cart.
我的腰以前也只有二十四寸 人生总是有得有失
I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things.
好了，别挡我的路
Now, come on. Get out of my way.
对不起，也许我没有说清楚 这推车是我们的
I'm sorry. Maybe I wasn't being clear. This was our cart.
嘿，嘿，嘿! 刚才又没有衣服在推车里！
Hey, hey, hey. There aren't any clothes in it!
嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿 不要乱订规则！
Hey, hey, hey! Quit making up rules!
放手！快，这是我的推车 你知道是我先看到的
Let go! Come on, this is my cart. You know I saw it first.
给我听好，女人 如果你要这推车…
Listen, Mitzi, if you want this cart...
就连我一起推走！
...you're gonna have to take me with it!
赞！你看到了没？
Yes! Did you see that?
你太厉害了
You were incredible.
各位先生、各位女士 看看这位全新的女性
A brand-new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
谢谢，没有你的话 我根本办不到的
I could not have done this without you.
好
ROSS: Okay, um...
干衣机里还有衣服吗？
Uh... More clothes in the dryer?
- 我没事，没事 - 你确定吗？
- I'm fine. I'm fine. - Are you sure?
- 你确定你没事？ - 确定
- Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah.
- 还会痛吗？ - 会
- Does it still hurt? - Yeah.
好主意！你所有的衣服都同色了 我也要这样做
What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
- 嗨
MONICA: Hi!
- 还顺利吗？
PHOEBE: How'd it go?
太棒了！
Excellent!
我们把那一对拆开了 然后各自保留一半
We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves.
好浪漫的故事
What a beautiful story.
对了，我没事
I'm fine, by the way.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
- 钱德呢？ - 他需要一点疗伤的时间
- Where's Chandler? - He needed some time to grieve.
我自由了！我自由了！
CHANDLER: I'm free! I'm free!
应该是复原了
That ought to do it.
左宗棠鸡、陈皮鸡来了！全球最大中式快餐连锁进军中国，有人去尝了尝，怀疑它是山寨的】熊猫餐厅进军中国 近日，多家媒体报道，美剧里频繁出镜、源自美国的全球最大中式快餐连锁“熊猫餐厅”（Panda Express）进入中国，在云南昆明开出首店。熊猫餐厅声名在外，熊猫餐厅是一个近40年的老牌餐企，成立于1983年。它的创始人程正昌最初的目标，是要做“中餐馆的麦当劳”，主打中国的小炒、炒饭、炒面、饺子、春卷等等。 福布斯2019年年末的数据显示，经过了40多年的发展，Panda Express已在全美开出2000余家门店，年营收达到350亿美元。 据都市时报报道，一位前来就餐的李先生说：“在店外看到他们的logo，看英文名字，都是一样的，但是气氛感觉和美国的都不太一样，进店就觉得缺少了熊猫餐厅的企业文化，再看这些盘子也是一般快餐店的那种。感觉非常low，就是个路边店的感觉，所以对是不是正版还是打问号的。”对此，昆明吾悦广场负责人表示，这家餐厅并非“山寨店”，商场是与深圳禧桂福餐饮管理有限公司签订的协议，有正规的品牌授权。不过，每经记者在Panda Express的公司官网上没有查到相关新闻。此外，据澎湃新闻英文版SixthTone报道，Panda Express就在昆明开店一事回复称：“我们目前没有任何在云南昆明开店的计划。”对于此事，每日经济新闻记者也向Panda Express进行求证，截至发稿，公司尚未回应。
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来源： 每日经济新闻
